The stigma attached to mental health is still very real. It’s not a single moment in time, but something you may or may not need to cope with regularly over your entire working life and beyond.
Are we as colleagues, employers and friends doing all we can to support those who struggle? I don’t wear it like a badge of honour, but I’ll gladly talk about my battles with mental health over the past decade to anyone who wants or needs to listen, especially if it helps them feel better or understand what they may be going through themselves.
Last year, after many years of suffering and fear, I finally admitted I needed some help. Diagnosed with depression, I was so embarrassed and ashamed.
Yet from the outside, things couldn’t be going any better. Successful in my career, a father to three beautiful daughters and married to an inspiring woman. Yet here I was, struggling to speak to a single person, even those close to me to say, I need some help.
Depression doesn’t start the day you cannot get out of bed. It’s something that comes over time. Perhaps it’s from not living up to life’s expectations that you or others have imagined.
© Supplied by IK GroupThe term High Functioning Depression is not a clinical diagnosis, it’s a term used by psychologist to identify people who are struggling yet are still able to hold things down on a day-to-day basis.
This is where the shame and fear come back with anger, louder than ever before – will people even believe me? Is it just an excuse for poor performance? Why can’t I be happy like everyone else? Just because I’m holding it down, doesn’t mean I’m not suffering.
At 37-years-old I find myself approaching the middle of my working career, where I’m regularly observing a changing dynamic across both work and society.
The baby boomer generation are exiting industry to enjoy a long and happy retirement having ‘put in a good honest shift’, whilst Generation Z are finding their way into a strange new world of ‘the workplace’.
Therein lies the problem. The Gen Z’s are not shy about expressing how they feel. The boomers, who spent 40 years working 9-5 / 5 days a week in an office with no flexitime or home working, confused why someone so fresh into the working world is happy to take a day off because mentally ‘they don’t feel up to it today’. What a strange idea.
“Speak up” or “it’s OK to not be OK”. You see these types of adverts everywhere, but when it’s actually you who needs help, sometimes you struggle to find the courage to put those three words together: “I need help”.
But trust me, as soon as you open up and let those vulnerabilities go, you’ll be amazed how many people suddenly start talking to you about their own fears and vulnerabilities. You are definitely not alone.
I was listening to a podcast featuring ex-SAS operator, Jason Fox. A guy who’s been to hell and back. Tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, finding and speaking to some of the most dangerous drug cartels in the world, capsizing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean during an ocean row and probably portraying the true alpha male most of us all secretly want to be. Here he is telling everyone he’s struggling with his mental health and seeking help has been the catalyst for change he so desperately craved.
Clearly we’re all susceptible to these struggles, so it’s important to understand that it’s not a sign of weakness. If anything, it shows your strength of character to realise you need help and to ask for it.
So who has it right? Are the Gen Z’s right with being so open and honest about their feelings and the state of their mental health? Or should we take a leaf from the boomers and just tough it out?
From my own experience, we must be more accepting of people who need extra support. The pressures that living in a digital world put on us are so much stronger than they were 20 years ago.
So, if you see someone who’s struggling, do ask if they are OK. It could literally save someone’s life.
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